Friday, March 2, 2007

Those damn Nigerians just won't leave me alone

So I open my e-mail today and I see the 18th version of the classic "Nigerian royalty" scam that's apparently been around even before the internet. I get these things every month or two and always get a laugh out of them. Basically, these idiots want me (and all the other millions...aaaaaaand millions) of prospective suckers who get these things) to give them my bank account # so they can transfer some ridiculous amount of money into it. Like, "let us transfer 800 zillion dollars into your bank account and after two years you can keep 10% of it" or some variation. I don't even bother reading them anymore. I'm sure you can guess what happens next. They empty your account and disappear into the night. I actually heard a story that some American guy went to Nigeria to meet them and was never heard from again. Whatever, here's the actual e-mail I got:

From Barrister Ken O. Eme
Eme law firm legal practitioner.

Dear Sir,

Compliments of the season. Grace and peace and love from this part of the Atlantic to you. I hope my letter does not cause you too much embarrassment as I write to you in good faith. Based on the contact address given to me by a friend who works at the Nigerian embassy in your country. Please excuse my intrusion into your private life.

I am Barrister Ken O. Eme, the personal lawyer to late Mrs.
Stella Obsanjo, the wife of Nigerian president Olusegun Obsanjo. Who was the chair person of child health care of Nigeria. She died on 22nd October 2005 after undergoing surgery in Spain. I seek for a foreign partner who can work with us as to move out the total sum of us$21million Dollars (Twenty-one million united states dollars) this money was deposited on 3rd of October, 2005 on hold for five years in a security firm .presently the whole document covering the funds is in my possession and non of the family members or relatives is aware of this Transaction.

This must be a joint venture transaction and we must all work together. Since this money is still in cash, extra security measures have been taken to protect it from theft or seizure. I have personally worked out all modalities for the peaceful conclusion of this transaction. You are going to take 50ercent of the total sum after the truncation's as soon as I hear from you, I will give you all necessary details as to how we intend to carry out the whole transaction. Please, do not entertain any fears, as all necessary modalities are in place, and I assure you of all success and safety in this transaction.

Please, this transaction requires absolute confidentiality and you would be expected to treat it as such until the funds are moved out of this country. Please, you will also ignore this letter and respect our trust in you by not exposing this transaction, even if you are not interested.

I look forward to working with you. further information confirm via this website

Reply me via email:

Truly yours

Barrister Ken O. Eme.

No way!! $10.5 million!! It's like I won the lottery!!!!

Note by the way, the misspellings and poor grammar from the Nigerian lawyer. I guess that sort of makes sense though, seeing as how the reply-to e-mail Hong Kong???

One of these days, I'm going to write to these morons and play along just to see how far they take it. I mean, how stupid do they think I am? Then again, I actually know someone who's brother fell for one of these retarded scams and got taken for $40,000 which was all he had in the bank.